


Giving Up to Soon

by ambientbliss



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Arguments, Derek is a dick, Gen, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, pack avoidance, sad!Stiles, stiles is underestimated, there is a happy ending, worried!Derek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-06-01 07:06:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6506488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambientbliss/pseuds/ambientbliss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unbeta'd.</p><p>After an argument Stiles loses his will to keep trying. Will Derek make it in time? I suck at summaries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Giving Up to Soon

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Tumblr for more fanfic's and other Teen Wolf Stuff!!!
> 
> halestil24.tumblr.com

He stood there, fists clenched and arms shaking. If he were a wolf his claws would be puncturing his palms, and his eyes would be glowing. But no. Stiles was not the wolf in this scenario. In fact he was one of the only humans, and it was being made perfectly clear that he was the most useless one. Derek stood in front of him, his claws and red alpha eyes making a dramatic appearance, that Stiles was no longer afraid of. “You are such an idiot. What the hell were you thinking? You don’t listen, you just do without even thinking.” 

Sure Stiles had a habit of just diving into something, but it wasn’t without thinking. He is always thinking. Even now, he was thinking about his heart pounding in his ears, and how much he had just had enough. Stiles was halfway to his Jeep when he realized that his brain was just catching up with his body. He could hear Derek yelling his name, and then Scott calling for him but he didn’t care. Not anymore. He shook the whole drive home. Things had been getting better, hadn’t they? Derek didn’t cringe every time Stiles actually came up with a game plan, it was nothing like it was with the Kanima. No. They had grown from that point. Derek actually jumped through his window on more than one occasion that wasn’t just for research. 

Granted it wasn’t anything out of Stiles’ dreams that he would keep to himself thank you very much. No sometimes it was just to talk, well Stiles would talk and Derek would listen, or thumb through a book. Now Stiles was questioning everything. His friendship with Scott had dwindled to just at pack meetings and school. He had thought about quitting Lacrosse, but by the grace of god and running with the pack he had gotten better and was actually on first line. That was probably the best thing he had going for him when he thought about it. 

The Sheriff was constantly working on the cases that the supernatural left a mess for. After the whole Darach business, Stiles had to tell his dad everything. So now he sits in his office most of the time going over new and old cases looking for the supernatural connection. He wasn’t mad at Stiles, and their relationship seemed okay but Stiles still felt the strain. He still couldn’t take back the words “Mom would have believed me.” 

Once again Stiles had just caught up with his body when he sat down on his bed. Nothing really mattered anymore. He was useless. Derek practically said so himself. Nothing really mattered anymore. Those four words rattling around his head, and he couldn’t help but believe them. So he formulated a plan just like he always did. Snatching his notebook he started to write.

============

There had been about a week that passed by since the argument in the woods. Stiles made no attempt to talk to Derek, and Derek didn’t show up at the teen’s house. Everyone was reporting back to Derek during and after school. Stiles wasn’t his chattery self in class, he wasn’t getting detention for talking in Harris’s class, and he wasn’t as assertive on the Lacrosse field. Isaac even noted that when Coach yelled at Stiles to get his head in the game, the teen just stood there. He wasn’t clenching his fists, or arguing with the coach, Stiles didn’t even acknowledge that he was being yelled at. The whole scene made Isaac’s hackles stand up. It was almost like looking into his past life with his father. He even told Derek that.

So now Derek was watching him. Of course out of the corner of his eye. Not that Stiles would have even noticed. The pack sat around the loft for the meeting about witches, and Stiles just sat there. The teen picked a spot on the floor away from everyone, and his knees were pulled up to his chest. Stiles never made eye contact with anyone the entire meeting, and didn’t speak. The only movement was the slight tap of his fingers. It surprised Derek with how much the lack of Stiles’s movement bothered him

The pack decided to seek out the witch in the warehouse they tracked her to. It was a 4 day weekend, people would be all over Beacon Hills and the sooner they had this dealt with the better. Lydia and Allison divided up the pack members into their pairs and they headed off. Stiles did nothing at the mention that he would be paired with Derek. There was a slow ache through his chest, he knew that a few weeks ago he would have been squirming and jumping for joy to be paired with Derek. 

Yeah, that’s right. Stiles moved from one unobtainable crush to another. So sue him. But now it was just an ache, and he didn’t really care if Derek could smell the numb feeling that was circling Stiles’s blood stream. 

They took Derek’s car, because well why not. The wolf drove through the abandoned back streets and Stiles just sat, not looking at anything in particular. “Stiles. Are you okay?” The words were out before Derek could think about how the teen would react to him of all people asking that question. “Yeah.” The tone was firm, but soft. Derek couldn’t tell if he was lying or not because his voice was steady, and his heart was steady. The only difference was Stiles wasn’t looking at him, and he was barely moving. His body was betraying him, but Derek wasn’t going to push.

====

When they found the witch in the dirty old warehouse everyone spread out. Even though he had a lack of words during the meeting, Stiles knew exactly what to do. But as usual something went wrong. Stiles found himself in a room with the witch and he was pinned. There was nowhere to go. In situations like this the teen would have tried to talk his way into enough of a distraction that he could get out but this time he didn’t feel like it. This would actually be easier than he thought it would be. 

Stiles took a deep breath. Settling himself for what he knew would be the end. In a flicker of weakness Stiles looked past the witch and his eyes met Derek’s. They weren’t Alpha red, they were green. The green he loved to see, would be the last thing he saw. 

Derek watched in slow motion as the witch muttered something, and then Stiles’s eyes rolled to the back of his head and he slumped to the floor. The wolf kicked in, snapping the witches neck. He stepped over her body as Scott and the others rounded the corner and into view. 

“Stiles?!” The wolf listened intently. His heartbeat was there, and he could hear him breathing but both were too low for Derek’s comfort. “Hey wake up.” Panic tingled in his spine when not even the teens’ fingers twitched. “Scott! Get him to Deaton. I will deal with the witch’s body.” For once Scott did as he was told, and Derek knew that it was only because Stiles was the main focus. As the rest of the pack save for Isaac rushed with Scott to get the unconscious Stiles to the Vet’s office Derek stood stock still. Listening. Listening for any chance that Stiles’s heart would stop.

====

While Derek and Isaac were dealing with the witch, AKA burying her in the woods where no one would ever find her, Scott called Isaac with an update on Stiles. The older wolf didn’t act like he was very interested, but Isaac knew better. “Scott said that Stiles is okay. He is out cold though. I guess it was some sort of sleeping spell. It will wear off in 24 hours.” A growl caught in his throat. It was unspoken between Derek and Isaac, but both of them knew the truth. Derek cared for for the spastic teen than he had let on. “I’ll run back to Scott’s. They are keeping Stiles at Deaton’s until he wakes up.” Isaac clapped his hand down on Derek’s shoulder and then disappeared into the woods.

After checking on the rest of the pack, and dropping by the back door to the vet to double check the heartbeat, Derek found himself outside of Stiles’s room, under the slightly opened window to his bedroom.There was a slight moment where Derek wondered if he should jump into the room, or if Stiles would be mad. But then he remembered they hadn’t spoken in a week or seen each other. Something was going on and Derek had to know.

It didn’t take much before his feet hit the floor with a soft thump. The room looked the same, but it didn’t. Derek took a deep breath and the smell of chemicals hit his nose. It smelled like Stiles had cleaned recently. Although he didn’t need it, he switched on the lamp on the desk. Everything looked neat and organized. Stiles’s desk was clean, and his bed was made, clothes put away and nothing on the floor. 

If Stiles’s lack of movement wasn’t a scream that something was wrong, this was. There had to be something here. Something that would tell Derek exactly what is going on here. Why Stiles stopped talking, why he is so still. Then he found it. A piece of paper folded neatly on his desk under the keyboard. Derek heard a car pull into the drive before he got a chance to grab the paper, but he clicked off the light. 

From the scent and sound of the heartbeat, Derek knew it was the Sheriff and from his movements it was just a short trip home. He grabbed the letter from under the keyboard and leaned against the window to use the light from the street lamp to read what was written in Stiles’s scrawled handwriting.

Most people would write a heartfelt letter, of all the things they felt they couldn’t say. Sorry. That isn’t what this is, because I have said all I need to say. So instead I will tell you what I know, and maybe that will help you understand.  
I know that I am the reason my mom died.  
I know that I am the reason my dad got fired.  
I know my dad loves me, but it isn’t the same.  
I know Scott is in love with Allison.  
I know that no one has time for me.  
I know Lydia will never care for me like I cared for her. That isn’t her fault.  
I know that I am useless.  
I know that I move too much.  
I know that I talk too much.  
I know Derek hates me, and that he would be okay with me being dead.

I’m sorry dad. I didn’t want to leave you like mom. But I know you will be okay. It isn’t like i am here anyway. 

SS.

 

Derek’s hands were shaking. He knew exactly what kind of letter this was, and he hated the panic he felt. It felt like hours that he sat there, he didn’t know when he slid to the floor. But he was there, sitting in the dark. The last time Derek felt like this was when he locked himself in his bedroom in New York after the fire. 

The sound of blood rushing in Derek’s ears stopped him from actually hearing that someone had entered the house. Stiles had woken, to Deaton’s surprise, much earlier than expected. While Stiles sat on the table as Deaton just looked puzzled. 

=====

“Mr. Stilinski, have you been feeling well lately?” Stiles huffed out a breath, not wanting to talk about it. Especially with Deaton, but he knew he wasn’t getting out of here without saying something. “Uh.. A little off actually. But it will go away.” The vet just nodded and motioned for Stiles to get up. There was an awkward silence. Stiles knew that Deaton wanted to say more, but it was classic fashion for him to remain silent. “Just.. can you just spit it out already so I can go home.”

Stiles’s short outburst didn’t effect the vet. Nothing usually did, but he spoke anyway. “Stiles, you need to know that the pack needs you.” Stiles scoffed, but let him continue. “The darkness you feel, I warned you about it and yes you shut the door, but that doesn’t make it go away. You are needed more than you know.” Stiles just clenched his fists. Deaton may have been so epically ominous about what was going on in their lives, and usually the man was right. But not this time. No one cared. That was why he was here in this Vets office with no one waiting for him. “Thanks Doc…” his voice had less emotion than he had ever heard, he was no longer hiding it. 

The last thing Stiles heard before walking out of the vet’s door was Deaton’s quiet voice. “They need you.” Scoffing seemed to be something that Stiles was doing a lot since he woke up. But here he was. It was late, his dad must be working late. Someone had apparently thought enough to bring his Jeep to the Vet’s office. He was reluctant to get in it. Knowing that this might be the last time he drives her.

When he pulled up into the driveway he just sat in the car. No one was at his house. It was clear, all too clear. No one cared enough about his wellbeing to even make sure that he woke up at Deaton’s, and they weren’t waiting for him at his house. But really what did he expect. Why would anyone care about the human. The useless human. With a shaky hand Stiles pat the dash of his Jeep, trying not to cry saying goodbye to the one fiercely loyal thing he had left.

The same shaky hand unlocked the door, and locked it again behind him. Stiles stood in the darkness of the hallway, his brain running a thousand miles a minute just thinking of the most logical way for this to go down. The less messy way for this to go down. He didn’t want his dad to have to clean up a mess. Adderall overdose seemed like a good idea, there wouldn’t be any blood. So that was what Stiles settled on. Plucking his adderall bottle off the kitchen counter, he took one last look at his living room and headed up to his bedroom. 

Stiles could feel the tears prickling at his eyes. No one was home, there was no one to hide them from so he let them fall. He stood in the hallway with his hand hovering the doorknob to his bedroom longer than he had really intended to. With a deep breath, Stiles opened his door and took a step inside. Once the door was closed a sob tore from his chest. This was really happening. 

====

A low whine met Stiles’s ears. He was pretty sure it came from him, but something felt different. Maybe it was the fact that he was actually going to go through with it that made him feel different, he didn’t really care to look into the fact. Better now or never, he thought. Opening the pill bottle and dumping them into his hands counting what was left. 6.”Shit. That isn’t enough.” Another whine met his ears. This time he knew it wasn’t from him. 

With a quick movement he hit the light switch. Flooding the room in light, his eyes fell on the crumpled figure in the corner. “Derek?” His voice was shaky. How had he not noticed that Derek had entered his room. Something was off with the wolf in front of him. He was sitting on the floor with his knees pressed up against his chest, and he was whining. “Derek? Are you hurt?” Stiles approached him carefully, looking for any injuries but finding none.  
What he did find was Derek was hyperventilating. The wolf was having a panic attack. Stiles brain went into overdrive. He knelt next to Derek, and placed his hand on Derek’s chest. “Derek, Hey, Derek. Look at me.” The wolf didn’t respond, instead he breathed harder. Stiles knew that if Derek didn’t calm down this was only going to get worse, werewolf healing or not. “Hey big guy you have to calm down. Your heart cannot take anymore. Come on, Der!” Stiles was starting to panic. If he couldn’t calm Derek down he was going to have a dead wolf in his room. A dead Derek. Without thinking Stiles grabbed Derek’s hand, pressing it to his chest. “Der, breathe with me. Come on!” 

That seemed to change things. Derek’s eyes finally snapped up to meet Stiles’s and everything stopped. Derek’s breathing was back to normal, and his shaking was gone. Replaced by red eyes. Stiles dropped Derek’s hand and backed away, sitting on the bed breathing heavily as if he was the one being pulled from a panic attack. “What is this?” Stiles looked up at the sound of Derek’s wrecked voice. Noticing the piece of paper in his hands. “Well shit.” That wasn’t supposed to come out. Derek waited expectantly. “What does it look like Derek? What do you want me to say? That is isn’t what it looks like? Because I can’t, that would be a lie.” 

Derek desperately wanted the words Stiles was speaking to be a lie, but there was not jolt in his heart beat, and no scent of a lie. It was all truth. Derek didn’t know when his body decided to move, but suddenly he was sitting next to Stiles on the bed. “Why?” That was all he could get out, but what he really wanted to say was why in the hell do you think I want you dead? He waited as Stiles took a shaky breath. “Because there is no point anymore. No one was there when I woke up. Not a damn person but Deaton. Why would they be?” 

The last words were a whisper, and if Derek weren’t a werewolf he probably wouldn’t have even heard it. Something flared inside of him. “No one was there? Not a single person?” Stiles just shook his head. Derek realized he didn’t have room to talk, he was a mess on the floor of Stiles’s room. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” It was what he could offer. Stiles snorted. “Why be sorry? Why would you be there? Why were you here?” Stiles still wouldn’t meet Derek’s gaze.

“Something... “ Derek flashed his red eyes and then calmed himself, “something has been wrong. For a while. You might think no one notices, but I did. I figured while you were asleep I would come here and see if I could figure out what was going on and I did. I found this letter and…” Derek pulled in a shaky breath, letting Stiles see how much this hurt. “I know I shouldn’t have read it, but Jesus Stiles. You can’t… We… I need you.” Stiles was dumbfounded. 

They let the silence stretch between them. Stiles didn’t know what to say. He could tell something was affecting Derek, but he didn’t really know what it was. It couldn’t be him. “You don’t need me Derek. I’m not pack, I’m nothing but a human to you. So why try and stop me?” Derek felt like he had been punched. He was not going to let this happen. Stiles had to know, he couldn’t keep it from him any longer. “Stiles.” Derek reached for Stiles, clasping his neck and forcing him to look at the wolf. “You… you’re my mate. I need you, my wolf needs you.” Derek could hear Stiles’s heart spike, and his breathing quicken. “Don’t lie to me Derek.” 

That hurt, but Derek had to show him. He wasn’t leaving here without showing him. Derek crushed his lips to Stiles’s. Putting all he has into it, not even stopping to think that Stiles might not want this. He started to pull away until Stiles grabbed him, and kissed him back. When they finally broke apart to breathe Derek pressed his forehead to Stiles’s. “I’m not lying. I need you. I will deal with the pack later, but I am not leaving. Ever.”

After a period of silence, heavy breathing, and sporadic kisses Stiles pulled away to look into Derek’s eyes. He had to know. “Mates… I have read about it. That is forever Derek. Are you sure about this?” Derek’s eyes flashed red, not a murderous red, but a red that meant he wasn’t being anything but serious. “I felt like part of me was dying when I read that letter. There isn’t anyone but you.” With the wolves need to be close to it’s mate, Derek pulled Stiles to him and laid with him on the bed. “Promise you won’t do it.” His words barely a croak. The emotions finally catching up to him. Stiles took a deep breath. “Promise.” Derek’s wolf howled knowing that there wasn’t a trace of a lie in that single word.

End.


End file.
